Chaucer is a Bag of Crap

[Scott McKee]

All good things must come to an end.  Chaucer is given credit for first penning this fact and, sadly, this fact has struck the Niagara Musky Association, again.

Even institutions, seemingly forever entrenched in our collective psyche, fade away or expire altogether.  The National League abandoned pitchers hitting, a practice in place for one-hundred and thirty-eight years, for the designated hitter and the mindless managing and glitz and glamour it affords.

Acronyms have been hit hard. VHS, CDs and DVDs have joined the ranks of cassette tapes and laser discs.  Personal cameras are now almost completely obsolete.

This diminishing of institutions has once again befallen our very own fishing club thusly: Frank Stachowiak informed me today  that this upcoming banquet (Saturday, April 30 at the Pearl Street Grill (please, please, please go)) will see the last of his universally famous Bags of Crap.

I have grown to expect Bags of Crap on banquet raffle tables for as long as I can remember.  Bags of Crap were the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.  They were as dependable as the seasons or the tides.

We are down to the last three Bags of Crap created by Frank Stachowiak the world will ever see.  And Frank is certain of this.  This isn't a ploy like The Who or The Eagles and their endless parade of farewell concerts.  The last three... ever.  They will join the dodo bird. Finished.  Extinct.

While the last Bags of Crap being opened will be reverential moments, perhaps even solemn, Frank assures me that each of the Bags of Crap will be very, very rewarding.  Keep that in mind when you're ticket is drawn.

Thanks for making your Bags of Crap over the years, Frank. They instilled us all with a child-like sense of wonderment distilled through your unique sense of humor.  The world may be down to its last three Bags of Crap, but it still has one bad ass  Frank Stachowiak.

[Stephen Glassic]

If left unopened, will they become collectors items?

[John Jarosz]

I don't know how many he has made but I bet he has a pretty good idea.

Will the last three bags be numbered, like fine works of art, as in 208 of 210, 209 of 210 and, finally, 210 of 210?

I picked one of his bags once at a raffle in a meeting but unfortunately i packed a Twinkie in it the next day when I went fishing.

[Scott McKee]

Ahhh... Twinkies. Proof of better living through chemistry.

[Frank Stachowiak]

I look at it this way: a bag of crap is better than a bag of carp.

[Scott McKee]

And you wouldn't think this to true, but Bags of Crap are far less stinky.

[John Jarosz]

Twinkies...one molecule away from plastic

[Scott McKee]

Jarosz, I will not sit here and listen to you bad mouth Twinkies without a fight!

[Stephen Glassic]

Woody Harrelson was willing to battle a hundred zombies for a Twinkie.